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【ARM-540】挑発ディルドオナニーVI

Source global Wall Street Journal     time 2020-02-21 07:12:37
Typefacelarge in Small

【ARM-540】挑発ディルドオナニーVI �


`Why,Connie,Ishouldtrustyournaturalinstinctofdecencyandselection.Youjustwouldn'tletthewrongsortoffellowtouchyou.'

Andasitspreadinhim,Conniefeltitspreadinher.Aninwarddread,anemptiness,anindifferencetoeverythinggraduallyspreadinhersoul.WhenCliffordwasroused,hecouldstilltalkbrilliantlyand,asitwere,commandthefuture:aswhen,inthewood,hetalkedaboutherhavingachild,andgivinganheirtoWragby.Butthedayafter,allthebrilliantwordsseemedlikedeadleaves,crumplingupandturningtopowder,meaningreallynothing,blownawayonanygustofwind.Theywerenottheleafywordsofaneffectivelife,youngwithenergyandbelongingtothetree.Theywerethehostsoffallenleavesofalifethatisineffectual.

Conniesatandlistenedinasortofwonder,andasortoffear.Shedidnotknowifhewasrightornot.TherewasMichaelis,whomsheloved;soshesaidtoherself.ButherlovewassomehowonlyanexcursionfromhermarriagewithClifford;thelong,slowhabitofintimacy,formedthroughyearsofsufferingandpatience.Perhapsthehumansoulneedsexcursions,andmustnotbedeniedthem.Butthepointofanexcursionisthatyoucomehomeagain.

SoitwaswithClifford.Oncehewas`well',oncehewasbackatWragby,andwritinghisstories,andfeelingsureoflife,inspiteofall,heseemedtoforget,andtohaverecoveredallhisequanimity.Butnow,astheyearswentby,slowly,slowly,Conniefeltthebruiseoffearandhorrorcomingup,andspreadinginhim.Foratimeithadbeensodeepastobenumb,asitwerenon-existent.Nowslowlyitbegantoassertitselfinaspreadoffear,almostparalysis.Mentallyhestillwasalert.Buttheparalysis,thebruiseofthetoo-greatshock,wasgraduallyspreadinginhisaffectiveself.

ShethoughtofMichaelis!HewasabsolutelyClifford'sideaofthewrongsortoffellow.

`Doesitmatterverymuch?Dothesethingsreallyaffectusverydeeply?...YouhadthatloverinGermany...whatisitnow?Nothingalmost.Itseemstomethatitisn'ttheselittleactsandlittleconnexionswemakeinourlivesthatmattersoverymuch.Theypassaway,andwherearethey?Where...Wherearethesnowsofyesteryear?...It'swhatenduresthroughone'slifethatmatters;myownlifematterstome,initslongcontinuanceanddevelopment.Butwhatdotheoccasionalconnexionsmatter?Andtheoccasionalsexualconnexionsespecially!Ifpeopledon'texaggeratethemridiculously,theypasslikethematingofbirds.Andsotheyshould.Whatdoesitmatter?It'sthelife-longcompanionshipthatmatters.It'sthelivingtogetherfromdaytoday,notthesleepingtogetheronceortwice.YouandIaremarried,nomatterwhathappenstous.Wehavethehabitofeachother.Andhabit,tomythinking,ismorevitalthananyoccasionalexcitement.Thelong,slow,enduringthing...that'swhatweliveby...nottheoccasionalspasmofanysort.Littlebylittle,livingtogether,twopeoplefallintoasortofunison,theyvibratesointricatelytooneanother.That'stherealsecretofmarriage,notsex;atleastnotthesimplefunctionofsex.YouandIareinterwoveninamarriage.Ifwesticktothatweoughttobeabletoarrangethissexthing,aswearrangegoingtothedentist;sincefatehasgivenusacheckmatephysicallythere.'

Themanatonceslunghisgunoverhisshoulder,andcameforwardwiththesamecuriousswift,yetsoftmovements,asifkeepinginvisible.Hewasmoderatelytallandlean,andwassilent.HedidnotlookatConnieatall,onlyatthechair.

Theycametothehouse,andaroundtotheback,wheretherewerenosteps.Cliffordmanagedtoswinghimselfoverontothelow,wheeledhouse-chair;hewasverystrongandagilewithhisarms.ThenConnieliftedtheburdenofhisdeadlegsafterhim.

Hiseyescametohersinaninstant,asifwakenedup.Hewasawareofher.


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